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This is where I put all my thoughts when they threaten to make my mind explode.
There are also rants from others, which I have deemed worthy of posting. Newer ones are on the top...yeah, you get the
idea.
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MARCH RANT OF THE MONTH
No Conversation
"It comes as welcome relief to learn that [Eliot] was also afraid of heights, that he liked Groucho Marx, and
that he so dreaded making idle conversation that he would often hide in the bathroom at Faber and Faber instead of walking
out with a colleague." - Lake, Book Reviews
Why is it that whenever you play a song you really like for someone, it never sounds as good as it did when you were alone?
It's because the highs are higher and the lows lower when you're alone. This is because when you're alone, you can devote
up to ninety-eight percent of your attention to the stimulus at hand. When you're with other people, some portion of your attention must go to them, wondering what they are thinking, knowing their experience is in part your responsibility—either that
or just thinking about having sex with them. Anyway, with all this stuff going on in your head, it's no wonder your favorite
song has come up a bit limp. And when you can truly be happy around someone else, it must be because there's some special
connection between the two of you. Or perhaps that person has simply become familiar. Familiar as that little dent in your
car door, which was so upsetting to you when it happened. It's still there. Don't worry, it doesn't remember your birthday either. Anyway, the point is there
is no connection between you and anyone. You're really better off without them. We've decided you're capable of your most
efficient work when you're alone. That's why offices have doors, people wear clothes and the U.S. economy dominates. Even if we are one big disparate and tense balloon.
This info is pulled from http://www.dictionary.com/
TRAGEDY:A
disastrous event, especially one involving distressing loss or injury to life: an expedition that ended in tragedy, with all
hands lost at sea. A tragic aspect or element.
Keeping that in mind let's have a little chat. People are often wont
to call me a heartless bitch. Not all of you, but those miscreants who deign it upon themselves to think they are better than
me for what I call "holier-than-thou" reasons. Sometimes I think they may have a case, and I'm going to get to the point now.
I
just saw the story on the news about the landslide in Laguna Beach. If you hadn't heard about it, here's what happened: A
bunch of rich pricks all bought houses built on a hillside. Science tells us that if you take out all the plant life from
any particular area (trees, grass, shrubs, etc.) you lose your natural erosion/runoff defense. In every life, some rain must
fall. Even in LA. So with little or no plant life to keep the hillside in check, it eventually has to give a little. In this
case, a lot. In fact, pretty much the whole hillside with everything on it, which just so happened to be a bunch of million
dollar houses. The result--a bunch of rich pricks are now homeless (until they find some other unstable hillside on which
to build).
What does that have to do with anything? Well, when I heard this on the news, my first reaction was not,
"Oh, what a tragedy". I don't feel sorry for any of those people. It's their own damn fault for living there. Even Dubya,
being the smart and wonderful man that he is *coughcough*, said the hillside was overdeveloped. Contrary to what Good Morning
America says, this is not a tragedy. Nobody died. Fart you, fartknockers.
You want a tragedy? There's a 13-month
old baby in Peru who was born with a birth defect that caused her legs to be fused together. Mermaid syndrome, or some such
thing like that. Anyhoo, she suffers from constant urinary tract infections as a result of this defect, as it causes her waste
tracts to be fused also. Like a flatworm, everything comes out the same hole. Doctors just performed an astonishingly successful
surgery on her, and were able to fully separate her legs, though another 15 years of surgery will be required to correct everything.
I read this story and felt bad for the baby's parents and the baby herself. They didn't choose to have a little girl with
a birth defect. Does anybody choose that? I would submit that they do not. Rich pricks can choose where they want to live.
And if they want to build a giant house on a quickly eroding hillside, they can go ahead and do it. I'll be the first one
laughing at their "misfortune".
The following was taken from a journal entry I wrote on August 9th of 2002 (I was
not entirely sound of mind for most of that summer, so this one may seem...unusual): Three things in life are illusions:
love, faith, and freedom. It's taken all the wisdom I've gained in these seventeen years to finally come up with these
personalized 'doctrines', so to speak. First off, there's love. They say love will conquer all, love is a many
splendoured thing, blah blah fucking blah. Two words: Bull. Shit. Love is nothing but compromise, mistrust,
pain, cynicism, and misery. Like everything else in life, it will eventually come to an end. Inevitability
always sees to that. Even the most horrible person on earth most likely wouldn't deserve the emptiness, that lowest-of-the-low
feeling of a broken heart. I've wanted to die because the pain was so great. Love does not exist on that
higher plane. And if it did, perhaps I'd be wondering when it would find me.
Next on the docket: faith. Namely, religious faith. Of course, being as
militant an atheist as I am, this is bound to be rather biased. But then...I don't actually give a shit.
In any case, faith has been used as the basis for countless wars, casuing the blood of innocents to be shed. And
despite the outcome in battle, each faction still believes they are in the right and have supreme superiority.
Members of the clergy and other religious leaders use faith as a control mechanism.
As it was said in the movie Dogma, the threat, "Do it and I'll fucking spank you" seems to have kept myriads of weak-minded
followers captive inside a dark, putrid cell of faith. Only the lucky ones realize their folly and escape.
Last, but not least, there's freedom. No matter who, what, or where you are,
no one will ever be free. There is a shadow, a sort of Big Brother, if you will, looming over everything and everyone.
Not a soul escapes its watch. The saddest part is that if our freedoms are not limited by external forces, i.e. law,
then we are bound by the restraints of our own flesh-encrusted bodies. It can't be avoided--how does one go about escaping
theirself? We're all under a lock and key of epidermis and blood vessels and tissues.
Doesn't it suck to see the truth?
I'm not a big fan of dieting in general, except for the morbidly obese and overly
sedentary portions of the population. I love to eat. Food is a good thing, and you should never deny yourself
a thick juicy steak or an ice cream sundae with extra hot fudge. But we've all suddenly jumped on the fad diet bandwagon,
and I fear we've created one that has quickly become a beast. This new obsession with low and no-carb food has really
put my into a tizzy. I was okay when it was just a few random items, like a can of soup or tomato sauce; that way, I
could see it at the grocery store and laugh at all the people who'd buy it in their weight-loss crazed idiocy. Now I
can't escape the barrage of commercials and labels advertising this crap. Look--when you order a sandwich without the
bread, or a pizza without the dough, they are neither a sandwich or a pizza any longer. They are really strange salads.
I honestly believe that the people who came up with this have never in their lives looked at a basic food pyramid or taken
a class in nutrition science. Okay, the body needs carbohydrates for energy. This is why there's always a huge
pasta dinner the night before a marathon. If it doesn't have them, it will eat away the fat layers and lay waste to the body.
Have you seen a picture of a Somalian lately? Continuing, from the food pyramid we can see that we need to eat 9-11
servings of grains a day. This is the food group from which we get most of our carbs. Does anyone see that something
doesn't quite add up right here? The problem people have with carbs is that they turn to fat if the stored energy is
not used. Now it seems to me that carbs are not the problem, it is the people who are eating all these things and leading
such sedentary lifestyles, not getting off their asses to take a walk around the block, waiting for the quick fix solution
to their weight problems to come along. People, people! Have some gumption, will ya? Solve your own problems--take
responsibility for your bad health and leave the poor carbs alone!
Seeing as it's a presidential election year, I've had a lot on my mind. This
year will be the first one I've been able to vote in, and I feel a lot of pressure to make a good choice. The main candidates
are George W. Bush and John Kerry. Now, given what you may already know about me, you've probably already guessed who
I'm going to vote for--but that's not the point. See, I remember Clinton vs. Bush Sr. in '92. I was 7 at the time,
and I was really pulling forClinton. I was adamantly against Bush for the simple fact that he didn't like broccoli,
and in my infinite 7-year-old wisdom I knew that America couldn't survive with a President who didn't like broccoli.
From the politics of a 7-year-old to a nearly 19-year-old college student..what a difference a day makes... Now I want
to know where candidates stand on issues like abortion and gay rights, education and employment, etc. It's so much more
complicated. I long for a return to the days when vegetable preferences were a deciding factor in who I wanted to win
the election. The days when I'd vote for Dubya if he liked garlic mashed potatoes instead of Kerry if he liked peas.
But as I find myself having to take stances on many of the hot button issues of the present day, I know that things will never
be that simple again.
You know, I've done a lot of thinking recently, and I've come to the
realization that, among other things, it's the goddamn conservatives keeping this country from progressing. All these
people saying marriage is a sacred rite, only to be between a man and a woman; grey haired men deciding what a woman
can and can't do with her body; and an idiot for a President, who promised a better education system, but is putting all our
money towards his little war game in Iraq. If we don't start accepting change, we're all going to hell...as
if we weren't already. Dammit, dammit dammit!!! You can't keep us in the Dark Ages forever!
If there's one place in your life time that you should never hope to end up,
it's in a waiting room in a hospital in Kentucky. Believe me, I know this for a sick, sad fact. Not only did my
cell phone have a magnetic attraction to the toilet, causing me to have to buy another one (4th one this year), but the waiting
room experience itself is a God-forsaken thing. Every time I was about to fall asleep someone would say the stupidest
thing I'd ever heard. And of course my mind just had to say, "Whoa...what the hell was that about?" It just figured
that behind me sat the three biggest rednecks in the state: two men, who, every time they spoke, sounded like two hicks sitting
on a porch with shotguns and a bottle of whiskey, and the Dog-lady. Her claim to fame is this quote, "You know,
you don't see many dogs running around the streets anymore. There's dognappers and stuff now. Dogs are gonna go
extinct!" I about shit uno burrito muy grande!!!! But as I was in a public place where making a scene could be
hazardous to my health, I simply thought to myself, "Maybe the reason you don't see many dogs around is because your closest
neighbour lives 5 miles away, you fucking backwoods hick freak!!!!!" Christ...
What's up with people being so obsessed with weight loss? Seriously!!!
Now beer companies make a point of advertising the calorie content of their drinks! JESUS CHRIST!!!!! The only
people who should be concerned with the calorie content are beer-bellied alcoholics, and more than half the time
they're three sheets to the wind and don't give a flying fuck. It's the people who have one or two beers at a party
and have Hollywood figures that get so worked up about this shit. WHO THE FUCK CARES??!!!!
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